Remembering

Alina is 4 weeks old today, and I keep thinking of details that I want to remember about her first few days in life.

Nonconsequential things, like the way she sneezed 24 times in her first 24 hours of life--and I was amazed at how perfectly her little body worked every time it let out a squeaky sneeze.

And how quickly I bonded to her. Within the first hour of her birth, a family member of LW was holding Alina, adoring our new little bundle, when Alina started fussing. Cheryl handed her back to me, and Alina stopped crying instantly.

My longing for my baby girl, and my attachment to her was instant. Sam and I put her in the nursery so we could go grab a bite to eat, and by the time we got back from a quick errand of just grabbing something to eat, I was missing my baby. Sam wanted to stay in the parking lot and sort through luggage, but I couldn't stand being away from my baby for another moment. I left Sam to organize our trunk, and I practically ran back up to the 4th floor to get those cuddles in that I had missed for about an hour.

Along those same lines, I asked the nurses to keep Alina in the nursery for the first night. I knew that I would have many night feedings ahead of me, so it seemed logical that I would let the very capable staff care for Alina through the night. I kept waking up, tossing and turning, each time realizing there was a certain ache in my heart. I wanted her close to me, in the same room. I almost called for her at 3 am, but instead laid back down and tried to force sleep to come. I finally couldn't stand it any longer, and asked for my baby to please be brought back to our room at 6 am. Oh, it was a happy reunion to hear and see that perfect little girl come back to us.

And last but not least, I want to remember how tiny she looked in the crib that Kent and DarLee set up for us in our bedroom. Thanks to Grandma, who snapped this screen shot while we were face-timing.