Legacy

Two weeks ago, I waved goodbye to a brave daddy and a pajama clad little boy standing in the airport. I headed to Utah to be with my mom and some of my sisters as we attended Legacy--it's a women's conference for the mothers in our extended Andersen family. There were 150 mothers and women in attendance--spanning four generations. It was just what the doctor ordered.

From some of our recent posts, I'm sure you can see that we've been through some struggles lately in parenting. Just some things that we've needed to figure out about how to best teach our son, and it seemed for a long time that the harder we tried, the more he resisted. I knew we had to find a reset button soon in order to keep peace in our home. I also knew that it wasn't my son's fault that we were having these struggles. I felt strongly that we could and would find something to work with all the gifts and talents he has been blessed with--among those is a voracious curiosity and a very independent spirit.

One night I awoke with the inspiration to attend Legacy. I only had a week to run the idea by Sam, book a ticket, and make arrangements for David in my absence.

I'll admit that I was a little worried about leaving Sam with the full parenting responsibility when we were at a phase of "all hands on deck." And the travel plans worked out so I would be gone a full eight days. I booked the ticket in spite of it all, and what's more, I didn't cancel the flight no matter how many times I thought about how challenging it might be for Sam to do a week of single parenting.

Sam finally said, "You never know, Carmin. This just might be my week to shine." After that, I quit worrying about the home dynamics and I enjoyed my trip. And I felt really grateful to three different families who had David in their home while Sam was at work. Sam took two days off, and that filled out the week. Sam really shined, just like he knew he could!

I soaked up the messages of Legacy--the reminders of why we do what we do as wives and mothers. I heard a few pragmatic details as well, but mostly I came away with the vision of womanhood. It was truly inspiring, and it gave me so many reasons to feel grateful for our little family.

Yes, it was just the reset button my heart needed. It was the vision from the conference, but also the longing for my family while I was away. I was absolutely determined to return to my home more prepared to cherish the good moments and push through the hard. More than anything, I wanted to return home prepared to offer David the very best in parenting skills I could. I was reminded that those skills come only when we are close to the spirit--which means living in a way that the promptings can be part of my every day life. I feel beckoned to a higher path with this motivating charge.

Perhaps the most rewarding thing is that I came home to a little boy with a much softer heart towards his mama. He hasn't been aggressive towards me at all in the week since I've come home--oh, how we were struggling with that before I left! And his tantrums are significantly less--which is a tremendous blessing to the peace of our home. He's so expressive in his love for us, and since I've come home even David seems to know a little better what a blessing it is to be in a family. Or as he says it, "Let's be MommyDaddyDavid."

Today I was tickling David and he said,

"Mommy, you're my favorite little girl."

Then he tried to correct himself,

"Mommy, you're my favorite little Mommy."

He finally settled on his last attempt,
"Mommy, you're my favorite big Mommy."

Oh, thank you, little buddy. I love you, too.

You're definitely my favorite little boy.